Change

 Change is an interesting paradox and undeniably inevitable—simultaneously enticing, intimidating, and welcoming, especially when it’s something you’ve long anticipated. Throughout my life, I’ve moved frequently, navigating both professional and personal transitions in ways I never imagined, often surprising myself with my own resilience.

Moving to the United States was one of those defining shifts. As introverts, my husband and I have always cherished a small but deeply supportive circle of friends. When we settled in Edison, New Jersey, we truly believed it would be our forever home—a place that offered the stability and familiarity every middle-aged couple hopes to find. Life there wasn’t perfect, but over the course of 13 years, it became our comfort zone—a rhythm that felt familiar, dependable, and deeply ours.

Then, everything changed.

My husband, Aswin, received a remarkable career opportunity in Mississippi—a milestone that we had every reason to celebrate. Yet, while it marked an exciting new chapter for him, it also felt like an unexpected pause in my own professional journey. We’ve only been here for two weeks, so perhaps it’s too early to call it a setback, but for now, that is how it feels.

The move has also brought its share of poignant challenges. We left behind cherished friends, the warmth of a vibrant Indian community, and, most difficult of all, my son's beloved speech therapist. As the parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I know how meaningful trusted relationships and familiar routines are. Walking away from that support system has been one of the hardest parts of this transition.

I must admit, a part of me feels torn. When change is a choice, it feels like an adventure; when it is shaped by circumstance, it is far more difficult to embrace. Nostalgia and gratitude now coexist within me—gratitude for the opportunities before us, and a longing for the life we left behind.

This is unfamiliar territory for me. I've always embraced change with enthusiasm, seeing it as an opportunity for growth and new beginnings. This time, however, it feels bittersweet. Perhaps it comes with age. As we grow older, we begin to seek familiarity in the little things—a neighborhood we know by heart, familiar faces, routines that ground us, and the quiet comfort of belonging. Leaving those behind is harder than I ever expected.

Still, I believe that perspective has the power to shape our journey. Beneath the uncertainty, there remains a quiet but steady sense of hope. I look forward to discovering new experiences, building new connections, and slowly creating a sense of belonging once again. Home, after all, is not just a place—it is something we build with time, love, and resilience. And I trust that, in time, we will make this place—or any place life takes us—our own.

A Note of Gratitude

Through the heat of your rightful anger at times, 

Thank you for the affection that still had room for me.

Through the clarity of your open thoughts, 

Thank you for being an earnest soul that simply wanted to be understood.

Through the love that endured our disagreements, 

Thank you for the patient resolve to remain by my side.

Through your gentle, hesitant guidance, 

Thank you for the heart that looked out for me always!

Through the grace to overlook my faltering steps, 

Thank you for wanting nothing but my good.

Through the timeless joy of our days together, 

Thank you for your true and unwavering friendship.

Though our times together will be cut short and brief,

The gratitude lingers on. 

The adoration lingers on .

The love without bounds lingers on.

 

To Sunrises and Sunrisers

Just as we watched the rays of the rising sun
light up this vast, beautiful world,
they revived our fragile spirits,
warming our hearts and lifting the mood—
making every moment feel alive.

Just as we watched the rays of the rising sun,
we knew there is so much that unites us,
unveiling the sisterhood
that dwelled deep within,
building boundless joy and beautiful memories.

Just as we watched the rays of the rising sun,
we rest assured
even the mighty sun may set every day,
but the bond we’ve formed
will hold steady, endless, eternal.

"

Just as we watched the rays of the rising sun, 
may we forever be grateful for this companionship. 
May we always continue together 
and say cheers to all of us 

" - From C

Sister Crown

The unsaid love,
the visible tiffs,
tiny, delightful memories
that warm the heart even in dreary days.

Time flew by,
paths forked,
our moments together grew rare.
Missing each other became routine.

Unsaid love became loud and well expressed
yet it never felt enough.
Somewhere inside,
I always knew,
I will never have another
who loves me as deeply,

as warmly,
as quietly,
as you do.

I will forever count myself
a proud sister to you.

Straight from the Heart

May be I am not your first friend

But I hope to stay far past the end

May be I don't resonate with you always
But I always try to understand

May be I m not the sweetest soul
But I try to listen and learn 

May be I am meddlesome and intense
But  all forms of love is always past all pretense

May be I sound I like I compare
But it is only for me to get better, as i truly care

May be I always ask for more
Not because i expect but because you are joy to the core

May be I will never be your best
But I hope to always stand by you through the worst

Kinky boots

I write about things that are close to my heart or the ones that challenges my perspective on something. One such is the unconventional or less-conventional choices people make and the minimal to null external validation that they receive for making one such.

While there are so many examples I can cite to discuss this, Courtship and marriage tops the list as it is considered to have a significant impact in how a person’s adult life shapes up and the emphasis put on it specially in India, the country I grew up in. While I am by no means against the idea of marriage or partnership, I just wonder if it should it be the defacto choice for everyone.

Additionally, Indian marriage system also thrives in the idea of matchmaking, setting up two people of opposite sex primarily directly for marriage earlier and for courtship and marriage in the present ‘modern’ days. Again, I am personally not against the system and have been lucky enough to find someone to call them company for a lifetime. But just because it exists, should everyone take a stride on it. While I would not want to delve deep into pros and cons of matchmaking, I can say for sure, not everyone enjoys the process although it is just a means to the happy ending or what we hope to be happily-ever-after. Is it wise to place so much emphasis on the romantic bond or it is just that people are so used to tried and tested ways of living life that everything else seems wacky.

I understand humans are wired to be socially inclined and enjoy the connections and companionship, they make all through their life despite the complex nature of relationships. Would this mean, everyone are compelled to make an attempt to find their romantic-connection one way or other just because the world around them follows that order. If they don’t why is it always hard for the people around them to support or give the much-needed reassurance for the path, they would like to navigate through unless they are the very close-knit relationships. Even the closest family comes under the pressure to convince the person to stick to conventional wisdom as they are forced to believe that is the way to go to avoid the umpteen concerned- critics in the form of extended family and friends.

With all due respect to the genuine concerns around how the less-chartered waters could backfire and hurt that very person they truly care for, aren't we forgetting. that friends and family exist because we help in times of need, support the choices an individual makes obviously after gently suggesting opinions and providing perspectives so the individual makes an informed decision.

Ironically, the stark reality seems to be that the selfless world that cares about other people so much also would like them to confirm to their beliefs. The line between gentle suggestions and forceful imposition royally burns resulting in strong critics. Is it because the life of their extended family or a friend would end up having atypical problems that they can’t solve or the possibility that they would have a happily-ever-after without significant other does not look appealing enough.

Conclusively or not so conclusively as it feels to me I am tempted to question the very frame of human thought process - Are people without self-realization stay opinionated and judgmental , although convincing themselves that they are progressive and open-minded. Why can’t someone generally be open to the unique individualist world . Maybe it will open up the world to some more interesting possibilities than the mundane rigor of offering un-sought solutions to others’ typical problems. Why should kinky boots always be frowned upon.

Perhaps, I am being way too cynical than needed but a challenge to this perspective is what I look forward to.

To A

It was not the first time we met

not the first kiss when you held me close

Not the first trip together

not the first time we slept together

not when you gave me the tall and mighty surprises

but when you took me all in

when i was not myself

took the tantrums, the pain i grew to be

took in all the sulking

the bad decisions that followed

and waited till i came back to my senses

I knew that true love exists 

And i found one myself